Develop a Surfer Mentality

Challenges are constant. Embrace it and live in the moment!

Hey there,

Over the weekend, a conversation with a friend inspired me to write this post. I am super grateful for the friends in my life with whom I have interesting and profound discussions.

On the 7th of June 2023, I was about to pitch a product concept for an entrepreneurship course to a jury of ESSEC Ventures - the ESSEC Business School startup incubator. Right before, I go for the pitch I get a call from an unknown number.

It was the HR from L’Oréal. My heart started pounding. I was offered a 6-month internship at the prestigious company. I felt jubilant and relieved. I had applied to more than 70 places and this was the only company that interviewed me. Riding on that wave of excitement, I went ahead with my pitch.

The pitch was so excellent that the jury encouraged us to form a company and get incubated. It was a such great boost because we were only the team in the concept stage without a tangible product to show.

The very same day, I finally met my first French language professor in Paris after nearly a year. I had such a great time that I started to tell myself that this was too good to be true.

So many amazing events in one single day?

Surely, it is not going to last long, and the bad times are going to come soon again. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy and I felt miserable towards the end of the internship.

So far, I have thought of life in terms of good times and bad times. As a result, I tended to do the most comfortable thing - make safe choices.

I told myself stories that I am incapable of having great stuff and therefore, I never put in the effort to seek what I want.

Sahil Bloom talks about the Surfer Mentality and that offered me a different life perspective.

• Always get in the surf: There's nothing good that happens sitting on the shore. Even if it's scary, get in the water.

  • I got rid of my fear of speaking in public. I trained for 4 years, giving it my all until it became one of my core strengths.

  • Ask for things. Be it an opportunity that excites you or asking a girl on a date. There is only an asymmetric upside with almost no downside.

  • Share your story. It may seem cringe. But, you might attract true fans with whom you can build something amazing.

• Be Strategic About Positioning: There's a tendency to passively wait between waves—but there's so much you can do in those liminal moments to set yourself up for a better ride. Think about your positioning and how you can make tweaks or changes that will put you in an advantageous spot when a wave does come.

  • Unlike waiting for the right job to come to me, I kept applying strategically to marketing roles. I had taken up courses at ESSEC with a focus on marketing. I took steps intentionally towards the goal.

• Enjoy Your Next Wave: The next time you find yourself riding a positive wave, enjoy it! Don't worry about how long it will last, when it will end, or whether you will ever ride such a beautiful wave again. Just slow down and appreciate where you are in the present. Trust that there will be more waves in the future.

  • Towards the middle of my internship, the search for my next internship was looming over me. It felt like the bad times started again. Instead of being grateful for having the opportunity to learn, I started focussing on all the moments of tough times at the current company.

  • Very recently, I realised that I did not have a dream job. I was always captivated by the energy of entrepreneurs - particularly those who are defying the odds. I am now learning to be patient and take things step by step, not speed running only to run out of steam.

• Be Like Water: When you get crushed by a wave, don't resist the water, try to be like the water. With grief in particular, it's ok to just be and experience it rather than trying to fight it. Let it come over you and trust that it will diminish with time.

  • Tough times in life are inevitable. If we avoid tough things, and getting hurt (of course, avoid irreversible damage), great things won’t happen. It is okay to have setbacks. But the good thing is tough times are inevitable and they will also recede just like the waves.

  • My first year in Paris was the hardest. I barely spoke French. Had to build relationships from scratch. Landing the first internship was hard. Finding things that I genuinely enjoy was very slow. But, with time, I became stronger and wiser. It feels easier now.

I will leave the link to the page where Sahil talks about the Surfer Mentality.

Books I have been reading. I do not read books to completion. I pick whatever seems interesting or look for specific answers.

• Thinking In Systems: Getting a better understanding of how the world works. Inputs, Outputs, Feedback loops, and the rules of any game.

• The Anthology of Balaji: Taking it with a grain of salt. I don’t agree with everything he has to say but I like his way of thinking. He is a contrarian.